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During each date, we would make plans for our next one.
It was a few days after our second date, which had been a dream.
Anticipation took that anxiety’s place: I was excited to tell him about all the things I was reading, seeing, and doing.
What’s a healthy amount of time to spend with the person you’re dating?
Even if I didn’t respond to a text right away, the message would be hanging over me and firing warning signs back in the other direction.
Unlike a friendship, where not responding to a text for two hours (or two days?
I’d invited him for dinner, something that was significant for me — both the preparation and having someone in my home. During our meal we made plans to get together the following week for lunch in Sunset Park. He texted on Sunday to follow up, saying Wednesday or Friday worked best for him.
But his text landed right in the middle of an unexpected family crisis.
This time together is healthy and necessary to cultivate a relationship and begin weaving two lives together.“I don’t think I’m a good person to date right now,” I said, which is, of course, really just the coward’s way of saying you’re not interested in seeing someone again. When I woke up the next morning, I hadn’t exactly changed my mind, but I felt that there was still something between us worth exploring, or at least talking about.So I texted him to propose the third date he had been trying to schedule when I dumped him. And so we found ourselves sitting on his living room floor, with chicken thighs, wine, and later homemade chocolate chip cookies, discussing the possibility of continuing to see each other but ending our texting relationship.I’d just made a career change and had a new block of free time. The less we were in touch, the better it was once we were together. I was eager to use that time exactly how I wanted: reading, writing, eating, cooking and exploring my city on my own time. Conversation poured out of us as if we had been turned upside down.