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Read Vanna's guidebook and have a false sense of confidence.

I have to let out the corset's laces pretty far to fit in it.

With all the glossy hair and smooth skin and perfectly airbrushed bodies, if a famous person recommends a beauty product she can't live without, I'm the sucker who goes out and tries it.

Despite fully knowing there is an entire beauty kit full of filters and Photoshop and professionals helping these celebrities achieve flawless results, it still amazes me that I (and 99 percent of non-celebrity women) cannot mimic this look with Kerry-Washington-approved .99 bottles of Neutrogena foundation or Gwyneth Paltrow exercise DVDs or Britney Spears perfume.

It's Sunday and all I want to do is lie on the couch. Chilling is next to impossible as the contraption pulled tightly around my torso constantly reminds me that I am strapped into something. Cannot get panicked because I cannot take deep breaths. Putting it on and lacing it up is way worse than actually wearing it.

My goal for today is two hours (Vanna tells me you are supposed to work up from six to eighteen, ha) and I'm highly aware that I'm still 45 minutes shy. It felt super tight, maybe because I had someone else tighten it for me this time, but I'm definitely able to wear it slightly smaller. My boyfriend thinks the corset is sexy, which I have to admit, with the exception of the leftover, pushed down FUPA fat spilling underneath, it kind of is.

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He left that company in 2001, and went on to found his own firm Command PR.Corset/ waist training expert, and author of , Vanna B., tells me that the first two weeks in which you break in the corset (yes, it's stiffer than Grandma's wooden clogs) are called “seasoning” -- just like you are a nice piece of meat stuffed inside a sausage casing and being primed for cooking. Take some “Before” photos (why do I always volunteer myself up for pain? Is this what my parents had in mind when they said to push myself?), make sure to have myself a proper going away dinner for my midsection and go to bed two parts excited one part pissed off I'm wearing my corset tomorrow.I'm not usually a masochist by choice and have a hard time following through on anything that is remotely considered a diet, but with the accountability of a diary for everyone to read, you kind of feel like you After some back and forth about my body measurements (bad time to eat Chipotle...), Vanna B.sends me what looks exactly like Sarah Paulson's costume from “American Horror Story” Freak Show edition and feels like something they use to harness horses. This will at least be fun to tell people I tried doing, unlike the time I ate clay like Shailene Woodley (at least it was free).

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