Dating newly separated women
About six years ago, I was strolling along the beach with my three kids, who were 6 and under. She was shielding her face from the sun as she talked to them under her magazine. I have my friends, I have work, I really like being alone right now,” she said.
She went on to say how her mother told her she would be fine, as long as she took the time to go through all the stages of divorce and grieve properly.
If you take only one thing away from this story, let it be this: If the timing is off, don't try to force it. Think of it this way, in every relationship, you eventually talk about exes — this one just may be a bit more, well, significant. Let he or she do the talking, listen attentively, and then do your best to move on from there.
Don't over indulge in these sessions because you DO NOT want double as his/her therapist, and this is an easy role to fall into. He or she was married to your current significant other for Pete's sake! This means: no stalking him/her on social media, and no peppering your new love interest with questions about the ex.
We're not just talking about sex, but oh wow is this a major perk.
More often than not, former married people have tried it all in the bedroom because they lived in the "we're comfortable, so we can say what we really like phase" for, well, a long time.
Still, there are some things to be wary of, and just like everything else in life, timing is everything; it can play a larger factor when dating someone going through a divorce; even a couple of months can make all the difference in the world. In any relationship, you can't force someone to be ready for something when they're not, as frustrating as that is. But even they have some traits you should go ahead and just expect. There's a difference between being hurt and not ready to move on.
This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LICSW.
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in Ohio.
There are some common-sense guidelines you can follow, though.
For example, if you are in counseling together, it is best to refrain from dating others until counseling concludes and you have a final decision about your relationship.”Being separated usually means no longer living in the same household--often temporarily.